The most difficult word as a parent, undoubtedly, is No. As adults, that becomes even more impossible to maintain and support, often because of years of restriction. There’s a better understanding of the consequences of indulgence, but often no desire to be sensible, regardless of potentially disastrous outcomes. It is only when you fall off the wagon of good intention and wake up at 6.45am with a floppy disk stuck to your face that the harsh reality of everything finally registers.
I was a foolish teen, who is only now beginning to grasp that the reason I never got people cared about me was that the wiring in my brain was different to theirs. Now I am a foolish, older woman who knows only too well what certain people would like from me, and it is not going to happen. This is clearly a disappointment to those who believe their manipulation of circumstance will be sufficient to alter the fabric of reality, but who reckon against the inevitability of incompatibility from the start.
It takes two people to have a friendship, and both of you need to do the work.
This subject comes up from time to time on my other blogs, normally as a result of some incident on social media that prompts an almost automatic ‘well, what did I do to make that happen?’ response. Looking back on the last few years, inevitably the drama can always be avoided by stepping away from the keyboard. Once upon a time I’d make the effort to name and shame offenders, but now there’s little point, because with age comes the realisation that you don’t get to do that and stay a functional member of society for very long.
It is the equivalent of devolving back to a teenager, and making Social media secondary school. Na Na Na Naaaa Na you started it is a waste of everybody’s time, because it isn’t about other people learning the lesson, but me. However hard I try, someone is going to get the hump over what is written if the subject matter has even a whisper of contention. I can guarantee someone will read something of mine, whether is via a blog or Social media, and completely miss the point, because that’s the scenario that plays out around me almost daily.
It’s a rotating door of recrimination and acrimony, and if you hit someone going in as you’re heading out, that can mean an awful lot of time going nowhere fast. The trick should be to not greet everyone with open arms, but that’s what I do. Everybody’s worth the time and effort until I get to know them enough to have at least a fighting chance of assessment. After that, it can go either way, but if you turn up and diss me or fundamentally disagree with my basic outlook on life, it will be quite tough to make a friendship stick.
Sure, I can cope with contrary opinion, religious and political differences, but if basic respect breaks down, it won’t happen. If I choose to stop listening, you’re free to ask why, but if you’re just downright rude about what I am? Seriously, no. I’ve never been that great at stopping the bus, but now there’s a real need to do so, because certain people have no comprehension of how to deal with those whose mental issues aren’t a thing they understand, or their political voice refuses to be silenced. This is the moment where my individual human experience could really count for something.
Stupid people need to get in the sea.
I’ll find a way to make all this work count for something. If all you want to do is sit there and expect attention, it really isn’t going to happen.