Happy Place

At nine, I knew writing was a path that needed to be walked but was not sure how this would take place. The desire and need were lost during teens due to a combination of fear and a lack of personal belief. It would take until my late thirties before those feelings resurfaced, as a defence mechanism against self-destruction. Now this happy place has been rediscovered, it would take more than considerable force and effort to separate it from me.

Writing has become a vital part of my ability to effectively experience pleasure.

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Life has, for as long as can be remembered, been experienced in highs and lows. The best moments, undoubtedly, hold an emotional intensity that is hard to repeat. The bad is also as important as good in that remembrance because knowing what is to be avoided matters. Understanding that you’re heading to a dark place is the best means by which to not repeat the mistake. Forgetting the bad in depression is undoubtedly a good thing, but only to a point.

There have been mental health issues since my teens (wrapped around PMT), which culminated in a diagnosis of Post Natal Depression following the birth of my daughter. After that, I took it upon myself to learn as much as possible about how to better this life, both physically and mentally. The former started small: thirty minutes of walking a day has become weightlifting, running and cycling, and will soon help overcome a childhood fear of water and allow me to learn to swim. After that, anything is possible. I always fancied learning to scuba dive…

drawing

Ironically, the menopause has freed mind and body from an awful lot of mental distress. Only now does the belief in self and ability exist to make dreams a reality.¬†There are many happy places in which to exist, but undoubtedly words remain the most satisfying of all. In the months that follow, there’ll be a discussion of others, but the default is always a notepad, screen or finding that special pen to transcribe a significant moment. On that front, there’s innovation that will be brought to the table, because it is no longer just about conventional methods of recording thoughts…

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